Pairings: Rodney/Elizabeth, Jack/Elizabeth, Daniel/Elizabeth, Chuck/Elizabeth, Zelenka/Elizabeth, Daniel/Vala
Category: Humour, Romance
Summary: Eliminating the competition, when you may not be the best candidate for the job, takes a genius. Luckily Rodney McKay had a lot of genius lying about in that head of his.
A/N: Prequel to "The library" Chapter 1: Daniel Jackson
Rodney really should have thought about who was going to be at the MENSA meeting before he convinced Elizabeth to come along. She hadn’t wanted to, she told Rodney he was just pretending she had the right kind of IQ so he could show off his intelligence to her in an appropriate environment. She'd also said something about 'how a gathering of geeks isn’t her thing unless they’ve all been reading Austen'.
Rodney quietly listened to the conversation from outside of the door. What he could hear was Elizabeth and Radek (that traitor, he so knew how he felt about her) having a very lively conversation about Prague. Elizabeth sounded very enthusiastic, and Radek was speaking with a slightly softened accent in the kind of shy, intelligent way Elizabeth loved. No doubt he’d taken notes from Daniel Jackson just to annoy him.
Rodney risked peaking around the corner to try to get a visual on the couple’s body language – not that he was any good at reading body language. But then again, between these two it was very much obvious. Currently Elizabeth was coyly feeling the fabric of Radek shirt, was Radek complemented her skirt which he said he recognised as a designer from Prague.
What kind of man could recognise a skirt as a certain designer? Mind Radek’s mother had been a designer herself, which must be how he could tell. This was just great, now he had to come up with another plan. Rodney suspected that Radek wouldn’t hesitate to go out with Elizabeth Weir just to annoy him. He always lost when they played chess, but winning Elizabeth Weir would top every single one of Rodney’s victories in that department.
He slunk down the corridor a few steps, hid the chess set he was holding in a flash of inspiration, and then walked towards the room again with nice, heavy footfalls so they would know he was coming. Radek looked perfectly innocent when he rounded the corner, of course Elizabeth looked bright and happy – she hardly had anything to hide did she?
“Radek,” said Rodney tightly, trying to keep the I-am-going-to-rip-your-spleen-out-later-a
Radek was defiantly suspicious, but he could hardly call Rodney on his bluff. Instead he nodded, smiled warmly at Elizabeth, and left the room. Rodney could hear him practically running down the corridor, clearly he didn’t have long.
He turned to face Elizabeth, hands in pockets to give the impression he was relaxed, “Wow you two seemed to be getting along nicely when I came in! Have you met before?”
“No! It’s wonderful to meet somebody else who knows Prague so well, it’s one of my favourite cities in the world. I went on a six month exchange there whilst at college.”
“Really? You never told me that. I’d like to go someday,” Rodney said these things really only to fill in the time before Elizabeth asked that question.
“Tell me, do you know if he’s single?” And there it was. One day he was going to learn how to be as bold as her when it came to the opposite sex, then he might finally ask her out.
“He is, but I don’t think you’re his type,” he said. Now he just needed to think of a damn good reason why Elizabeth couldn’t possibly be his type. And she was looking at him in that way that meant she wasn’t just going to be satisfied with that for an answer.
“What makes you say that? I mean we both love Prague, he even knows about designers – we’ve got plenty to talk about there. I’m sure a little more conversation would reveal other things we have in common,” she said, this is what Rodney could only describe as a suspicious tone. “What are you jealous?”
It was tempting to say yes, but he didn’t think jealousy was the kind of thing that impressed Elizabeth. She was always moaning about heartbroken ex's of John’s bickering outside of the library with whoever his current girl was. Besides, something she had just said had given him an idea that might just work out.
“Oh no it’s not that at all. Radek is, uh,” Damn what were they calling it these days? So many terms... “Gay. Radek is gay. That’s how I know you’re defiantly not his type!”
Elizabeth showed only a little surprise, but it was there on her face, “Really I didn’t pick that up...not that I’m an expert or anything. Are you sure?”
“Oh yes, I mean come on, how many straight men could recognise what designer made your skirt?” He saw some kind of realisation dawn on Elizabeth’s face and she looked down at her own skirt. “Oh and there is the fact he has a huge crush on me.”
At that, Elizabeth immediately looked up her face lit with interest, “Really?”
Oh he had so dug himself into a hole here, “Yes, of course I’m not interested in men, it’s really quiet hard for him to deal with – poor guy.”
“But you told me you two fight all the time!”
“Well, yes, I think he picks fights with me over little things to try to cope with his real emotions. Sometimes grown ups can be just like teenagers...”
Elizabeth’s face became a mask of sympathy, “Oh yes it makes sense. Poor guy. It must be hard for him to even just be friends with you.”
“Well I’m sure he’ll get over it eventually. I wouldn’t let a little crush get in the way of our friendship,” Rodney said humbly. He was so gaining points here, Vala had told him women loved men who were confident enough in their own sexuality to hang out with gay men. He just hadn’t believed her until now.
Just then they heard Radek coming back, Rodney held a finger to his lips indicating Elizabeth should keep quiet about their conversation and she nodded in response.
Another one down, God knew how many more to go...
* * *
The rest of the evening went well, Sam Carter even turned up though she mostly sat in the corner with Elizabeth chatting. Turned out they’d had the odd conversation at Chuck’s bar. Rodney was paranoid they were talking about him until he got close enough to hear some kind of conversation about tractors in the Ukraine. Sam left early, as she had left some experiment running. At the end of the evening only Rodney and Elizabeth we’re left tidying up.
“Rodney, is there a restroom I could use?”
“Oh yes, go out the door and left, right at the end of the corridor, it should be unlocked.”
She turned to go out of the door, and Rodney bent down to pick over a dropped chess piece when he heard an almighty “Ompf!”
“I am so sorry!” Elizabeth cried.
He turned to see that she most have walked straight out into the path of Jack O’Neill, the headmaster, who had been carrying a hell of a lot of files at the time and probably hadn’t seen her. Said files were now spread down the corridor.
However O’Neill didn’t seem too bothered by this. He was smiling at Elizabeth like the ninth graders smiled at Vala, patting his hair down and telling her that really, it didn’t matter.
‘Oh come on!’ Rodney thought. ‘I already came up with one plan tonight now I have to find another!’
He quickly ran forward to where Elizabeth and O’Neill had started gathering the files up, “It’s okay Elizabeth I’ll do this! You get on with whatever you were doing!”
She smiled gratefully and informed them both she’d be back in a moment, before hurrying along the corridor. O’Neill watched her retreat until she was out of sight.
“New additions to your Mensa club then McKay?”
“Well I just brought her along for the evening so she could see what we did.”
“Haven’t I seen her around?” O’Neill asked as he stuffed some papers back into a folder.
“She’s Elizabeth Weir, the public librarian. She was here last month for the careers day.”
“Oh yes,” he said offhandedly, probably not listening as he kept checking the end of the hall for her return.
“She’s a lesbian!”
This statement shocked not only O’Neill, but Rodney himself. He wasn’t quite sure why he’d said it. Apparently his brain was running low on ideas and so was trying to kill two birds with the same kind of stone.
“She’s a lesbian?” Jack repeated, the man looked like he was trying not to laugh.
“Oh yes, only likes women! I’m one of the few men she doesn’t hate!”
O’Neill picked up the last of the files off the floor and took the load Rodney was holding for him, “You know, McKay, you could've just said you were interested and I’d have backed off.”
And with that, Jack O’Neill wandered down the corridor muttering ‘lesbian’ and chuckling to himself.